John's Law

• Don't look up to a misanthropist.
• You can't be optimistic about things going wrong.
• There are basically two types of people; the idiots that think there are only two types of people, and those of us enlightened ones that think that having only two types of people is an oversimplification.
• You can't get a life at a flea market.
• Staring at someone isn't so bad unless the staree notices you doing it.
• Don't be worried about being paranoid. Worry about not being paranoid enough.
• If you can't tell the difference between a glass that is half full or half empty, then you have been drinking too much.
• The shortest distance between two points is warped space.
• The quickest path between two points may be the one with the fewest obstacles.
• Sheep accuse each other of flocking together like humans.
• If you want the dust to settle, leave the room.
• Don't dive into a shallow person.
• If you want a green thumb, plant something.
• The older you are when you have a mid-life crisis, the better.
• Boredom is a luxury.
• Only the sick get well.
• If you need a "to do" list, you don't have anything important to do.
• Oil and water may not mix, but if you work at it you can make them form a colloidal suspension. Lettuce spray.
• In two dimensional space, the space between A and B is flat.
• If the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, you need more documentation.
• The best defense for being easily offended is to not be defensive.
• There are two keys to developing a good memory. One is technique.
• In South America, nuts and bolts are reverse threaded (to us) primarily so that the toilets don't come flying off their mounts when you flush them.
• Nothing ever blows out of a garage.
• Nothing is ever as simple as it seems.
• Never trust anybody for anything. TY,F.E.W.

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